Twisted Feather Theater Presents
Machinehead
by Ewen "Blackbird" Cluney

	The planet Theta was home to a lot of things. Religion  was 
one of the stranger things. Though Eddie had been born there, he 
hadn't realized how strange they could be until a budding 
congregation had shown up at his door.
	It was true that he was good with machines, but he hadn't 
realized that much of anyone else -- save for the old lady who 
lived next door -- thought so.
	They'd called themselved the Metal Militia, and Eddie the 
Metal Prophet. He would've had nothing to do with them, despite how 
insistent they were, except that their got, who went by the name 
"Metalus," had other ideas. Eddie never actually saw the god (more 
of a demigod, really), who was known as the "Lord of the Engines," 
but his presence was unmistakable. The Metal God didn't speak so 
much as force words -- all in capital letters -- into his mind.
	REJOYCE, FOR I HAVE CHOSE YOU.
	"Why should I care?"
	The reply that followed proved that the Engine Lord was new 
to this sort of thing, and needed to work on his people skills. 
UM... I WILL GRANT YOU GREAT POWER.
	Eddie had shrugged. "Whatever. Leave me alone."
	And it was done.
	"Stupid god."
	It wasn't too bad, though, being the Metal Prophet. The cult 
was a small one, and, if nothing else, the cultists made good 
customers.
	"Heal my toasted, illustrious Metal Prophet!" one would cry 
upon entering his little shop.
	Ten dollars and as many minutes later, the cultist was on 
their merry way, regardless of wether the toaster actually worked.
	All in all, he was pretty content, even if he did 
occasionally accidentally use his "gift" -- an ability to 
physically meld with machines -- at inconvenient times. And when he 
woke up in the middle of the night and found himself building some 
strange machine or other.

	It was a warm, arid day, when a Quarrol woman walked through 
the door. The Quarrol came from some other planet, arriving on 
Theta in a colony ship around a thousand years ago. They look 
rather like humanoid cats. This specimen had black fur, and if she 
were human, he'd have found her curves rather attractive (fur was a 
bit of a turn-off for him, not that he'd had much luck with the 
opposite sex anyway, preferring the company of machines). Moreover, 
she was wearing a Theta Global Police uniform.
	"You do repairs?" she asked.
	Eddie managed a strained smile. He had a difficult time not 
making sarcastic and insulting comments when people asked stupid 
questions like that, but doing so to a TGP was probably not a good 
idea. He settled for a veiled insult to her intelligence. "This IS 
a repair shop."
	Without batting an eye, she put a rather menacing rifle on 
the table. "Can you fix a tachyon gun?"
	He smiled. "I can fix *anything*."
	She was nonplussed, but before she could make a reply, one of 
the cultists barged in. He looked to be a fairly typical guy, 
except for the pendant he wore -- a brass gear -- that was the mark 
of the Metal Militia. "Oh great Metal Prophet! My refrigerator is 
in need of your divine touch!"
	Eddie took a deep breath. "Look, kick it a couple of times, 
and then wait a couple hours. If it doesn't work, then come see 
me."
	He bowed, and left.
	She watched the guy leave, obviously unsure of what to make 
of it. "What was that all about?"
	Eddie removed the outer casing of the gun. "It's the local 
cult. They worship machines and Metalus the Lord of the Engines, 
and I'm supposed to be their prophet. I could care less, but 
Metalus had other ideas."
	"WHAT?" Clearly, she was not the religious type. Not that 
Eddie was either, but he was smart enough to acknowledge that gods 
existed. After all, some of them had some serious stuff to throw at 
you when they got their manifestations going. He still remembered 
when Tritaline The Vengeful had come and broken all of his windows 
at night.
	He smiled, and lifted up the gun. "I didn't ask for it, but 
he gave me some very real powers." He let his soft flesh and the 
hard metal become one -- before their eyes the gun and the arm 
melted together, such that it was impossible to tell where one 
ended and the other began.
	"WHAT THE HELL?!"
	He could feel every circuit of the gun. There was a short, 
but that was easily dealt with. He fired a test shot, through the 
doorway and into the ground.
	When he separated it from himself, she snatched it away from 
him fearfully. "Never mind!"
	"I fixed it." he said simply. "Eighty, cash only."
	She eyed him suspiciously, then pulled out the money.
	"So, what brings a TGP like you here?"
	She shouldered the gun. "A criminal. THE criminal. The Global 
Police's Most Wanted Criminal, Tara."
	He'd heard that name before. Tara was supposed to possess 
destructive power beyond imagining, a dispassionate killing machine 
with a woman's body. Though having her pay a visit was an 
intriguing prospect, it was also sort of terrifying. Very 
terrifying, actually. "Here? _This_ vicinity?"
	She nooded.
	"Is that like, this continent, this town, or do you think 
she's hiding in my closet or something?"
	The cop rolled her eyes. "Her energy signature was detected 
by satellite. All we know is that she's probably within a hundred--"
	An explosion resounded outside.
	"FEET?!"
	She brought the rifle online, and stepped outside. "Damn. 
Messona to Command Two. I've sighted Tara." she was speaking into a 
handset radio, presumably to her superiors. Whatever the reply, she 
wasn't too happy with it. Actually, she looked scared.
	Very scared.
	She whirled around to face him. "I am hereby deputizing you 
into the Global Police of Planet Theta. Do you accept the rights 
and responsibilities thereof?"
	"N-NO!"
	She scowled, and continued, speaking as quickly as she could 
managed. "Thank you. Your acceptance has has been duly noted, 
compensation will be provided at the soonest possible juncture. NOW 
COME ON!" She grabbed him by the collar -- her strength was 
surprising -- and pulled him over the counter and out the door.
	Another explosion sounded. Eddie looked up, and saw... her. 
Tara. She was clad in a skintight black and blue jumpsuit. Her hair 
was spiky and colored dark green, to match her eyes, which looked 
down coldly on the world below, a goddess smashing her failed 
creation. Were it not for the fact that whe was ready, willing, and 
able to vaporize him, he would've found her attractive.
	"Um... Messona?"
	"What is it?!" she demanded.
	Eddie pointed. "That."
	She saw the Most Wanted Criminal, and came closer to 
panicking.
	Tara spotted them. She hovered downwards, until her feet 
lightly touched the ground.
	Messona looked to be thinking more clearly than Eddie, but 
then, that only meant she wasn't filled with paralytic fear, unable 
to move. She fired the tachyon gun, a barrage of blasts. Tara 
appeared to put a force field in place, because the blasts never 
even touched her.
	Messona's tail went limp. Her ears flattened, and she let out 
a faint whimper before running.
	Leaving Eddie alone with Tara.
	Tara looked down at him and frowned. She picked him up by the 
neck, and held him at arm's length. In those cold eyes there was no 
compassion or emotion, only the coldness of stone.
	You'd think Metalus would do something about this, thought 
Eddie. Some god.
	A glow began to form in Tara's other hand -- a sphere of 
plasma.
	"Metalus!" he gasped. "You bastard!"

	He wasn't sure of what had happened. All he knew was, Tara 
was a machine.
	Tara.
	She lay on the ground, only a couple of feet from where he 
sat. Somehow, he'd melded with her. The Lord of the Engines hadn't 
chickened out after all.
	"What the hell did you do?!" Messona had come up behind him.
	"I dunno."
	"You... defeated Tara! We're not gonna' die! We--!" She 
stopped when she realized tat Tara was moving. The greatest threat 
in the world looked at them. Eddie and Messona were just about 
ready to run.
	"Excuse me," said Tara, "but, what was I doing?"
	"Destroying the town--" Eddie stopped himself.
	"How would I do that?"
	"What in the sixteen hells is going on?" demanded Messona.
	Eddie stood up, and placed on hand on Tara's cheek. He could 
feel her positronic mind, a vessel waiting to be filled. "There 
isn't any aggression in her. She doesn't know how to use her 
weapons anymore."
	"I have weapons?" asked Tara.
	"That's great and all," said Messona, "but we'd better get 
the hells out of here before the satellite strike htis. And I'll 
have to place her under arrest."
	"Why?" asked Eddie. "You might as well arrest your gun."
	"It's the law." she said simply.
	"Tara," Eddie said carefully. "Run as fast as you can, away 
from here."
	"Okay." Without hesitation, she shot forward at incredible 
speed. Unfortunately, Eddie found that his hand was still affixed 
to her cheek.
	Messona rubbed her head, and jumped on her hovercycle, 
starting after them. "It's gonna' be a long day." she muttered.

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Ewen "Blackbird" Cluney                     blackbird@blackbird.nu
Blackbird's Domain                        http://www.blackbird.nu/
The Official Thrash Home Page          http://thrash.blackbird.nu/
Knight Kevlar of the Immortal Frog        Silver Knight of Mihoshi
              "Be nice to me; I might just develop 
             psychokinetic powers and destroy Tokyo!"
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