Ignition By Ewen Cluney Episode 5: Paperwork Panic: Enter the Eraser INT. EXTREME CD VISION Kenji and Naoki are behind the counter. They stand there for several seconds before Naoki speaks. NAOKI So... you came here on the train today. What's up with that? KENJI Long story. NAOKI We've only got... what, six and a half hours until closing. KENJI (sigh) Do you hang out with any street racers? NAOKI S-street racers? Yeah, I know a f-- (stops short, wild-takes, and looks at Kenji) Im... impossible! The EG6 on Monday night?! KENJI (nods) A couple punks stole my car for a race, and somehow I ended up driving in the race. NAOKI Then... your brother Kyosuke is _that_ Kyosuke?! KENJI I always told you he was a nutcase. NAOKI But... To think that you're the younger brother of Kyosuke the Madman! AND you beat Takashi the Demon! I should get your autograph! KENJI Pft. I barely _survived_ racing that bastard -- I won because he lost it and tried a suicide attack. NAOKI No wonder you had to take the train; your car's gonna be in the shop for a while, huh? KENJI Yeah. Half the paint came off, it needs body work, and the gears are pretty screwed up too. NAOKI How'd you mess up the gears? KENJI What do you think happens when you shift from fourth gear into reverse and forget to use the clutch? NAOKI (shock) Wha...?! KENJI Dunno how or why I did it, but I managed to recover when he tapped my bumper and tried to spin me off the road. NAOKI You are my god. KENJI (twitch) Then my first command to you is to leave me alone and finish putting up the new P.O.P. stuff like the manager told you to. NAOKI (sigh) Same old Kenji. Some guys would be changed for life by something like that you know. Kenji pauses; flash to a shot of him and Civiko holding each other from the last episode. Cut to Naoki putting together a small store display. NAOKI But not Kenji -- same ol Captain Sarcastic. KENJI Look who I have to deal with all day. NAOKI Not for much longer -- we're gonna hafta' get another person in here after you start college. Maybe I should see if Mimi's looking for a part time job. MANAGER The two of them snap to attention as the Manager walks into the store from the back room. MANAGER Kenji-kun, if you've got time for idle chatter then you can make yourself useful. KENJI H-hai... MANAGER I need you to take care of some paperwork; I have to be here to talk to the remodeling consultant who'll be coming by today. You have a car now, right? KENJI Y-yeah, but it's in the shop. MANAGER Already? KENJI It's... a long story. MANAGER Well, I know you have a rail pass still, so I guess you'll have to use that. KENJI (sigh) Hai, hai. EXT. CITY STREET Kenji walks down the street, carrying a folder full of papers. KENJI (sigh) I get to be an errand boy again. ... I sure hope things will be okay at home. Cut to an imaginary sequence; Kyosuke leans over Toasty who is blushing furiously. Kimiko watches from around the corner and grins. Cut to Kenji as he walks. He pulls out his cell phone. KENJI At least you're back to normal. For now. ... (sigh) I wish I actually knew what caused them to change back and forth. INT. TRAIN Kenji riding on a train EXT. OFFICE BUILDING Kenji walking into a tall building. INT. OFFICE BUILDING, RECEPTION AREA Kenji walks up to a counter, and a secretary looks up from her computer. He sighs and holds a piece of paper in front of her. SECRETARY ... Ninth floor, Suite 927. INT. OFFICE BUILDING, HALLWAY Kenji steps off the elevator. He walks a short ways down the hallway, and stops in front of Suite 927. He takes a deep breath and is about to knock when the door flies open to reveal MR. SAKAZAKI, a middle-aged salaryman who seems to have been in a perpetual state of apoplexy for the past few decades. MR. SAKAZAKI (shouting at someone inside) DAMNIT! DON'T YOU KNOW WHAT "TRIPLICATE" MEANS?!?! (to Kenji) What the hell do YOU want?! Kenji frowns and holds up the same piece of paper as before. MR. SAKAZAKI Ohhh, is that SO?! SIT DOWN OVER THERE!!! Kenji shrugs and sits down in a chair where indicated. The room has several chairs arranged around low tables, occupied by two women in their early 20s and a middle-aged man. Kenji sighs. MR. SAKAZAKI Be QUIET!!! Kenji gives him an annoyed, half-lidded look. MR. SAKAZAKI Oh, you think you're FUNNY, do you?! Kenji shrugs. Sakazaki glares at him, reaches behind, and slams a stack of papers down in front of Kenji. MR. SAKAZAKI Follow the INSTRUCTIONS!!! EXACTLY!!!!!! Kenji pulls out a pen and pencil and picks up the first form and begins writing. The others in the room heave silent sighs of relief and resume writing, so that the sound of writing pens is the only sound in the room. Cross dissolve to a different view of Kenji. He picks up another piece of paper and looks at it, then reaches into his pocket and pulls out a pencil. He begins writing with the pencil, and then stops short. MR. SAKAZAKI (suddenly over Kenji's shoulder) Please remember to erase all mistakes... COMPLETELY!!!!! Kenji glares at Sakazaki. MR. SAKAZAKI DON'T GIVE ME THAT LIP! Kenji shrugs. Sakazaki seems to float away behind the chair. Kenji gives a silent sigh and looks at the others in the room, all of whom seem rather high-strung. He rolls his eyes and reaches into his pocket. KENJI (V.O.) I have an eraser here somewhere... Kenji sifts through his pocket some more, and pulls out a pink pearl eraser -- which is glowing red. He blinks. KENJI (V.O.) I... pressed the button on the remote, didn't I? INT. OFFICE BUILDING, HALLWAY Kenji very quietly stands up walks out into the hallway. He pauses and turns around to see Mr. Sakazaki looming over him. MR. SAKAZAKI Where the HELL do you think YOU'RE going?! Kenji points down the hall to the men's room while holding the red glowing eraser behind his back. MR. SAKAZAKI FINE! Kenji waits until Sakazaki has retreated into the suite, then stops short and realizes he's holding a girl's hand. He lets go and turns around to see PINKY standing there in front of him. She's a short, slender girl with her hair done up in two pink pigtails. She wears a short pink dress with "Pink Pearl Eraser" written down the front. KENJI (muttering) Damnit, not another one. PINKY Hihi! ^_^ I'm Pinky! Who're you? KENJI Kenji. Asakawa Kenji. PINKY Kenji Asakawa Kenji? So you have three names and the first and last are the same? KENJI ... Something like that. Just call me Kenji. PINKY Okay! So what's going on? KENJI Do you know how to be quiet? PINKY What do you mean? KENJI Okay... In that case you need to stay here. I'll be back later. PINKY Okay! Kenji starts walking back to the suite. He stops short before the door, turns around, and realizes that Pinky is right behind him. KENJI Pinky? PINKY Yeah? KENJI What did I just tell you to do? PINKY Ummm... I dunno. KENJI Are you an idiot? PINKY Dunno. Are idiots good to eat? KENJI No. PINKY Oh. ... (hopeful) Then I might be! KENJI Great. In that case just stay here and don't move. INT. EXTREME CD VISION Naoki is at the store; a guy in a brown trench coat is browsing. MIMI walks in. MIMI Hey there! NAOKI Hey. MIMI Where's Kenji? NAOKI The manager sent him on an errand -- paperwork to file or something. MIMI Ah. Okay. How's he been? NAOKI Same as ever. Of course, on Monday his car got stolen and he wound up being in a street race to get it back. MIMI ... Care to run that by me again? NAOKI I didn't get the full story, but he went up against Takashi the Demon -- a guy infamous for trying to run his opponents off the road. Kenji won but his car's gonna be in the shop for a little while. MIMI Do you know how long? NAOKI Two weeks I think. MIMI Two weeks... Just in time. NAOKI Huh? MIMI Well, some friends of mine are planning a trip to the beach. It'll be a lot of fun, and besides I want Kenji to meet some more of his classmates. NAOKI Ah. Am I invited or do I get chopped liver status as usual? MIMI (chuckle) You can come. Who knows, one of my friends might even like you. You don't have a girlfriend, right? NAOKI Oh sure, rub it in. Kenji won't even let me near that cousin of his. MIMI Cousin? NAOKI Yeah; I didn't get her name, but she works as a booth babe apparently. Really cute. Reminds me of a college-age version of his little sister. MIMI He has a little sister? NAOKI Yeah; her name's Kimiko. She's pretty cool, but I'm glad she isn't my sister if you catch my meaning. He's got an older brother too -- used to be a famous street racer. MIMI Wow. One heck of a family. NAOKI Well, anyways I'll let him know when he gets back. Mimi smiles and waves as she leaves. INT. OFFICE BUILDING, SUITE Kenji is working on his paperwork. He pauses, turns his pencil around for the eraser, and realizes he's already used it up. Pinky reaches over his shoulder and uses her finger to erase for him. He stops short, and looks up at her; she smiles. PINKY Hi Kenji-sama! The two women and the old man immediately cower behind their chairs. MR. SAKAZAKI WHO THE HELL'S MAKING ALL THAT RACKET?! PINKY Huh? MR. SAKAZAKI YOU! Why the hell are YOU here?! PINKY I'm here to help Kenji-sama erase things. ^_^ MR. SAKAZAKI WHAT?! PINKY I said-- MR. SAKAZAKI WHAT?! PINKY I'm here to-- MR. SAKAZAKI WHAT?! PINKY I just-- MR. SAKAZAKI WHAT?! PINKY Why're you--? MR. SAKAZAKI WHAT?! PINKY When you do that I really can't-- MR. SAKAZAKI WHAT?! PINKY (sticking out her tongue) Beeeeeh! MR. SAKAZAKI WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! WHAT?! INT. KENJI'S HOUSE, KITCHEN Kyosuke sits at the kitchen table, reading the newspaper and finishing off a toasted bagel. KYOSUKE So how are you doing? TOASTY I'm so happy! Kenji-sama said the toast I made for him is tasty! KYOSUKE (quietly) That's the way little bro. Open your heart. TOASTY Huh? KYOSUKE (blink) N-nothing. TOASTY I... I was thinking... That maybe... since I can do toast really good I should learn to make other things to eat for Kenji-sama. KYOSUKE I think that's a wonderful idea. TOASTY Really? KYOSUKE Home cooking is the best by far. TOASTY Okay! I'll start now! INT. OFFICE BUILDING, SUITE Kenji covers his ears as Sakazaki and Pinky continue. MR. SAKAZAKI WHY YOU LITTLE! BEEEE QUIIIIIEEEET!!! PINKY But I'm not really-- MR. SAKAZAKI WHAT?! Kenji stands up and clamps his hand over Pinky's mouth. PINKY Mmmrf! MR. SAKAZAKI DON'T INTERRUPT ME!!!!!!!!!!! PINKY Mrrr? KENJI sh. PINKY m? KENJI ... (nods) MR. SAKAZAKI That's... BETTEEEEEEER!!! Mr. Sakazaki walks away, and Kenji slowly sits down, sitting Pinky down next to him. PINKY Whew!! He finally left! Kenji sighs and covers his ears. INT. KENJI'S HOUSE, KITCHEN Kimiko walks into the kitchen; Toasty is happily cooking away. KIMIKO Hey Toasty... What're you making? TOASTY It's called "bread pudding." ^_^ KIMIKO You... can make pudding out of toast? TOASTY Yup! I didn't know either, but I found it in this cookbook! KIMIKO Ah. What else are you making? TOASTY Caesar salad. ^_^ KIMIKO With plenty of croutons... TOASTY Of course! KIMIKO And the main course? (Toasty) That's gonna be chicken. ^_^ KIMIKO Which is what those breadcrumbs are for? TOASTY Yeah! ^_^ KIMIKO All right... I'll be going out for a while. Bye! TOASTY Bye! ^_^ INT. EXTREME CD VISION Naoki is putting the finishing touches on a store display. The manager walks in from the back room. MANAGER He's taking his time. NAOKI Kenji? MANAGER ... NAOKI Ah, he *is* taking the train. ^_^; MANAGER That and there are other factors. NAOKI Huh? MANAGER There's a reason I delegated this to Asakawa-kun. INT. OFFICE Kenji and Pinky are hiding behind a desk. Sakazaki can be heard in the distance. MR. SAKAZAKI HOW *DARE* YOU DUCK WHEN I THROW THINGS AT YOU!!! A stapler flies overhead and hits the wall. MR. SAKAZAKI AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! PINKY Kenji-sama, what're we gonna do? KENJI I'm not sure. This *is* your fault you realize? PINKY Okay. ^_^ KENJI You really are stupid. PINKY Yup! ^_^ Kenji pulls out his key ring and looks at it. A couple books hit the far wall. PINKY Ooooo! What's thaaaat? KENJI MR. SAKAZAKI I HEARD THAT!!! Kenji points the remote at the stapler and pushes the button. He then does the same to a computer. Both are engulfed in a red glow. The stapler turns into SWINGLINE, a slender woman wearing an odd, boxy red dress, the computer into COMPUTRESS, a woman wearing a hard plastic bikini with a mouse for a tail. SWINGLINE Wh-what happened? COMPUTRESS I... don't know... MR. SAKAZAKI WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?! Swingline and Computress both turn around as one and glare at Mr. Sakazaki. COMPUTRESS It's him. HE'S the one who keeps hitting my monitor all the time! SWINGLINE And smashing me against the wall when he jams me from putting the wrong size staples in! Kenji presses the remote button one more time, and the chair turns into a girl too. CHAIRY's outfit consists entirely of tasteful maroon cushions. CHAIRY That's nothing! He threw ME through a *window* once! MR. SAKAZAKI H-hey... I... um... The three newly formed girls exchange glances and nod in unison. Cut to Kenji, still hiding under the desk, as various sounds of crashing and yelling can be heard. He pulls out the stack of papers from before, and starts writing. PINKY Shouldn't we go? KENJI Nah; they'll keep him busy for a while, and I hafta finish this stuff for work. INT. AUTO SHOP Kenji's Civic is there with the hood up and a mechanic poking at the engine. MECHANIC Damn but this thing is screwed up! The gears are practically gone! FLASH-CUT TO: INT. KENJI'S HOUSE Kenji stands opposite Civiko; she looks apprehensive. CIVIKO B-but... I don't wanna go away for two whole weeks! KENJI You'll be FINE. The guy who runs the repair shop is a good friend of Kyosuke's; his guys will take good care of you. Besides, I have some insurance paperwork to take care of. CIVIKO I... I'm gonna miss you... KENJI Trust me; you NEED to be fixed, and two weeks will fly by like nothing. CIVIKO ...o-okay. INT. AUTO SHOP Richmond walks into the garage. He walks up to the car. CIVIKO (V.O.) H-huh? Who's that guy? RICHMOND My name is Richmond. CIVIKO VOICE OVER (V.O.) Wh... what? You can hear me?! How? MECHANIC What'd you say? RICHMOND Oh, I don't have to tell you that. CIVIKO (V.O.) What are you? I can feel... something funny about you... MECHANIC What's that? Who the hell are you?! RICHMOND You'll find out eventually. Especially now that I know where your master resides. CIVIKO VOICE OVER (V.O.) The mechanic is suddenly holding Richmond by the collar. MECHANIC I don't know who you are or what you think you're doing here, but get out of my garage unless you want me to show you just what a tire iron can do to the human anatomy. RICHMOND Er... (sweat drop) I... was just leaving, sir! INT. OFFICE BUILDING, SUITE Kenji is writing. He finishes, pockets the pencil, and stands up. Mr. Sakazaki has been tied to a chair by the three girls, and looks desperate. MR. SAKAZAKI SAAAAAVE MEEEE!!!!!! Kenji cups a hand to his ear as though he's having trouble hearing. MR. SAKAZAKI I SAID, SAVE ME!!! Kenji leans closer. MR. SAKAZAKI ...please...? Kenji shakes his head and shrugs, and hands the stack of papers to Swingline. KENJI Can you do me a favor and give these to him when you're done? SWINGLINE Sure. ^_^ Kenji and Pinky walk out. CHAIRY I'm SO tired of holding up your smelly butt! COMPUTRESS Not only that but your typing technique stinks, your spelling is atrocious, and I doubt you even know what the word "defragment" means! SWINGLINE We are going to enjoy this. EXT. STREET OUTSIDE OFFICE Kenji and Pinky walk out of the building's entrance. High above a scream can be heard. PINKY That was fun! Can we do it again? KENJI (sigh) No. PINKY Aw... Another scream echoes out, and everyone around -- except Kenji and Pinky -- looks up to see where it came from. PINKY So... is there anything I can erase for you? KENJI ... PINKY Well? Is there? KENJI I will let you know. PINKY Okay! ^_^ They walk in silence for a little while. PINKY Is there anything to erase *now*? KENJI ... INT. KENJI'S HOUSE Kenji walks into the house with Pinky trailing behind. TOASTY Welcome back, Kenji-sama! KIMIKO Hey, there's another one! KENJI (sigh) Everyone, this is Pinky. PINKY Hi everyone! ^_^ "Everyone" is kind of a funny name though... KIMIKO My name's Kimiko... PINKY Ohhhh! Okay. ^_^ KIMIKO (to Kenji) What's with her? KENJI Apparently erasers aren't very smart. PINKY I'm an idiot! ^_^ TOASTY So! Is everyone ready for dinner? KENJI (suspicious) What're we having? KIMIKO Don't worry; it's not quite as bad as I expected. EXT. OUTSIDE KENJI'S HOUSE Richmond crouches under the window, listening to them as they sit down for dinner. RICHMOND Oh yes... They suspect NOTHING! Soon VENGEANCE will be MINE! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The window opens and Kenji looks out. TOASTY What is it? Richmond freaks out and dives behind the bushes. KENJI Thought I heard something... KIMIKO Probably just the neighbor's cat. Kenji frowns and closes the window. FADE TO BLACK.