Ignition Episode 3: The Madman's Race: Express Your True Feelings On The Road By Ewen "Blackbird" Cluney INT. INSIDE THE CIVIC KENJI drives a bit recklessly down the street, with NOKIA in the passenger seat. NOKIA Kenji-sama... CAR (disconcerted) KENJI When we get to the house I want you two to stay put. This is something I have to deal with by myself. EXT. DRIVEWAY OF KENJI'S HOUSE The Civic screeches to a halt in front of the house. With the keyring in hand, Kenji irately strides over to the door. As he reaches for the doorknob the door opens to reveal KYOSUKE. He has long (dyed) red hair, and wears a leather jacket, tanktop, and black jeans, plus knee-high boots. Kyosuke immediately grins and gives Kenji a big hug. He gets a punch to the jaw for his efforts. KYOSUKE (rubbing his jaw) Wow! Not bad little bro! Kyosuke backs away into the house and Kenji follows. INT. KENJI'S HOUSE, KITCHEN KENJI Don't give me that! What the hell are you doing here?! KYOSUKE What? Why so hostile? Can't I drop in to visit my family now and then? KENJI Usually you can't, and when you do you usually get people to start throwing things. KYOSUKE Well, I'm glad I can liven things up a bit. ... Say-- (snatches the keyring out of Kenji's hands) It looks like someone got a new car! KENJI GIVE. THAT. BACK. NOW. KYOSUKE (holding the remote) You know, these things have a pretty long range; I bet I could unlock your doors from in here. KIMIKO Um, oniisan-- Kyosuke points the remote towards the window and presses the button. The toaster is engulfed in a red glow. While Kyosuke is looking on in awe, Kenji snatches the keyring back. When the glow fades, TOASTY stands there, looking confused. Toasty is short, with medium-length black hair. She wears a sleeveless silver shirt and black bloomers, plus black sneakers, and has a working toaster embedded in her back. KYOSUKE Wow. You sure haven't lost your touch little bro. TOASTY Um... KENJI (SIGH) I'm Asakawa Kenji; as I recall I bought you at the department store three years ago. Name? TOASTY I'm Toasty! ^_^ KYOSUKE Your toaster turned into a girl? KIMIKO Oh, not just the t--MMMMRPH! KENJI (covering Kimiko's mouth) As usual you've already managed to cause trouble for me. TOASTY (dreamily) Kenji... sama... The doorbell rings; Kyosuke answers it to see Civiko and Nokia. NOKIA Is Kenji-sama in? KYOSUKE (shock) ... CIVIKO (walking in) There he is! What's wrong? NOKIA Look, there's another one! ^_^ TOASTY Hi! My name is Toasty. ^_^ CIVIKO I'm Civiko. ^_^ NOKIA And I'm Nokia. ^_^ KENJI (muttering) The car, then the cell phone, and now the _toaster_. TOASTY Does anyone want some toast? KIMIKO Um... no thanks. TOASTY Aw. How about some nice hot english muffins? KENJI ... TOASTY (starting to get desperate) Okay... How about pop tarts? ... Waffles? ... I can do crumpets if you turn the heat down... Or... there's these neat toaster pastries they make -- I can do those too. KIMIKO Um... TOASTY Flapjacks? KENJI No. TOASTY (starting to panic) Um... uh... (to Kenji, conspiratorially) I know; you want a bagel, right? KENJI It's five in the afternoon and I already ate. TOASTY But... (sniffle) But... If you don't want anything then... KIMIKO Kenji... KENJI What? KIMIKO Do something! She's gonna--! Toasty starts crying. TOASTY WAAAAAAAAAH! All I can do is toast things and he doesn't want ANY! What good am I? WAAAAAAAAAH! KENJI (sigh) Toasty-- TOASTY (sullenly, sniffles) What? KENJI Look, just because I don't want any toast now doesn't mean I don't want any at all. TOASTY Wha...? KIMIKO Th-that's right! Kenji ALWAYS has toast with his breakfast! He DID buy you with his own money you know. TOASTY R-really? Kenji sighs and nods. Toasty smiles and throws her arms around Kenji. TOASTY (CONT'D) I'll make it however you want, every day, forever and ever! I can even put butter on for you now! KENJI (sigh) Strawberry jelly. On Fridays. TOASTY Okay! I can hardly wait until tomorrow morning! ^_^ Kenji frowns as Toasty rubs the top of her head against his chest, smiling contentedly. Civiko is trying valiantly to contain her jealousy, Nokia seems pleased, and Kyosuke is in shock. KYOSUKE Okay... One question -- one that usually people ask ME. What in the blue hell is going on? WIPE RIGHT TO: INT. KENJI'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM - LATER Kenji, Kyosuke, Kimiko, Civiko, Toasty, and Nokia are all sitting in the living room. Civiko and Toasty are on either side of Kenji. KYOSUKE ...And you weren't gonna' tell me _anything_. KENJI Of course not. I know better than that now. KYOSUKE (to Kimiko) Since when did he become Captain Sarcastic? KIMIKO Since he broke up with his girlfriend. KYOSUKE Ah. Well, that's how it goes. Love and war and all that. KENJI Easy for you to say. KYOSUKE It's really depressing to see you like this you know; you used to have a certain something that girls liked. KENJI Is it that hard to understand that I don't want that right now? KYOSUKE It wouldn't bother me so much if you didn't have three women throwing themselves at your feet. KENJI Believe me, it wasn't my idea. NOKIA So... Kyosuke-san, what brings you here? KYOSUKE (grins) Well, I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd visit my family. KIMIKO You told me you were planning to stay for a week. KENJI What was it this time? An amplifier? A _microphone_? CIVIKO What do you mean? KENJI He usually only visits after he's spent too much money on music stuff; we have a wannabe rock star in the family. KYOSUKE As it happens, I'm well on my way; Mister Piss now only needs a new bass player to be complete, and I now have _this_! With a flourish he opens his guitar case, donning a metallic blue flying V guitar with a flaming skull emblazoned on it. He immediately starts playing some chords. KENJI (rolls eyes) Keep practicing. But use headphones while you're here at least. KYOSUKE Then I can stay? KENJI If I said no would it deter you in the least? KYOSUKE Welllll... no. KENJI Then you can sleep in the guest room, though if you take anything out of the fridge that guitar goes to the pawn shop to pay for it. KYOSUKE Can you believe this? My own little bro' is treating me like some weirdo who just walked in off the street! KENJI That's because-- ... I want to say it, but it's too easy. NOKIA Well, at least the house will be more lively. ^_^ KIMIKO That's an interesting way to put it... ^_^; KYOSUKE Hey! Don't be so down! The K-Team is back together! CIVIKO "K-Team"? KYOSUKE Kimiko, Kenji, and of course Kyosuke! Reunited at long last! So! What's for dinner guys? KIMIKO I was gonna' make some curry; looks like I'll have to make a lot... Do the... girls need to eat? CIVIKO Hm? I still have three quarters of a tank of gas; I feel fine. NOKIA My battery has an 87% charge. TOASTY I'm fine, but would you like some toast to go with the curry? Silence. TOASTY (CONT'D) ...nevermind... WIPE RIGHT TO: INT. KENJI'S HOUSE, KITCHEN The Asakawa siblings are sitting around the kitchen table, each with a plate of curry rice. Civiko is sitting next to Kenji, resting her head on her folded arms and watching Kenji (she idly slides her head back and forth, rolling the steering wheel on her head), Nokia is sitting opposite everyone else, reading the phone book, and Toasty is trying to perch on the counter in the spot where the toaster was. KYOSUKE Itadakimasu! KENJI Itadakimasu. KIMIKO Itadakimasu. Kenji and Kimiko are about to start eating, when suddenly Kyosuke starts scarfing down the curry. KIMIKO Oniisan... KYOSUKE (pauses, clenching his fist, on the verge of tears) It's... it's... DELICIOUS!!!!!!!!! KENJI He hasn't changed-- KIMIKO --the slightest bit. Kenji and Kimiko both let out a long sigh. WIPE RIGHT TO: INT. KENJI'S HOUSE, LIVING ROOM The characters are all watching TV; Civiko sits nervously next to Kenji on the couch, Kimiko sits on the floor, Kyosuke is lounging on the easy chair, Nokia is sitting on the floor still reading the phonebook, and Toasty is standing behind the couch apprehensively. CIVIKO Um... Kenji-sama...? KENJI Hm? CIVIKO I... I... wanted to say... KENJI Wha? CIVIKO I'm... r-really sorry about before and I'll try to be good from now on, and I was wondering if-- TOASTY Excuse me, but would you like some cinnamon toast to eat while you watch the movie? KENJI (sigh) Toasty, if you want to make yourself useful at 8pm, please try to find a way to do it that doesn't involve grilled bread products. TOASTY B-but... KENJI I'm sure you can think of something. TOASTY O-okay. Toasty hurries into the kitchen. KENJI (to Civiko) What were you saying? CIVIKO N-nothing! I... I should go park. Civiko nervously gets up and leaves. KENJI Oh... kay... KIMIKO Baka-niisan. KENJI Hm? KIMIKO Oh, NOTHING! EXT. KENJI'S HOUSE, DRIVEWAY Civiko is standing in the driveway. She wipes tears out of her eyes. CIVIKO Kenji-sama... Why don't you understand...? Civiko sits down, and slowly starts to glow red and turn back into a car. A few moments later, a compact car pulls up and KEIICHI and KAORU step out. Keiichi is of average height and wears a T-shirt, jeans, and a jacket. Kaoru is tall and has short, spiky hair. He wears black jeans and a white T-shirt. KEIICHI Are you sure this is really a good idea? KAORU What are you talking about? This is for the pride of the Black Thunders! KEIICHI Yeah, but... stealing a car? KAORU But nothing! This is an EG6 -- exactly what I need. It looks practically new and we're just going to borrow it for one night! KEIICHI (sigh) Whatever you say. They start advancing on the Civic. INT. KENJI'S HOUSE Kenji is walking up the stairs to his bed; he stops for a moment to listen. INT. KENJI'S HOUSE, KITCHEN Kyosuke is standing next to Toasty in the kitchen. KYOSUKE It's okay; he doesn't appreciate you, but *I* understand. TOASTY What do you--? Kyosuke takes hold of Toasty's hands, leaning closer to her. Toasty blushes. KYOSUKE I *love* toast. TOASTY R-really? KYOSUKE (leaning closer still) Oh yes. Baby. KENJI What exactly are you doing? Kyosuke blinks, and turns around to see an irate Kenji standing there. KYOSUKE Little bro! You're still up? Don't you have to be out the door early tomorrow? KENJI Kyosuke, I don't know what you're doing, but it looks like you're trying to seduce my *toaster*. KYOSUKE Well... What's so wrong about that? KENJI I don't even know where to begin. TOASTY Kenji-sama... I'm *so* sorry... KENJI Not your fault. KYOSUKE What's this? I thought you wanted to avoid women, and now you're trying to protect Toasty-chan's honor? KENJI What are you-- KYOSUKE But if you want me to stay away from Toasty then maybe I should go after Civiko instead. KENJI Kyosu-- KYOSUKE Open your eyes, my brother! Are you really so blind that you can't see how she was looking at you?! Kimiko rushes into the room. KIMIKO Um, Kenji-niisan... Civiko was going to park outside, right? KENJI Yeah... KIMIKO Well... EXT. KENJI'S HOUSE, DRIVEWAY The four of them are standing outside. Kenji reaches down and picks up a scrap of paper. KENJI (reading aloud) "We needed to borrow your EG6 for the evening; it will be returned to you by tomorrow. If you are a true car enthusiast you will understand. Signed, Dangerous Kaoru of the Black Thunders." Kenji crumples up the paper and throws it on the ground KENJI (CONT'D) What the HELL is going on?! KYOSUKE (solemnly) Street racers. KENJI What?! KYOSUKE The Black Thunders are a team of street racers; their turf is in the hills east of here. TOASTY Then Civiko... KYOSUKE They'll try to use her for a race. Kenji scowls and takes off at a run. EXT. STREET Kenji runs along, starting to tire, when Kyosuke pulls up alongside him in a beat up old car with weird heavy metal stuff painted all over it. Kimiko, Nokia, and Toasty are all riding in the car as well. KYOSUKE Come on little bro! We saved you a seat! KENJI ... KYOSUKE Moshimoshi! I'm trying to HELP you! By the time you get there on foot the race will probably be over with! INT. KYOSUKE'S CAR Kenji sits in Kyosuke's car as it speeds up a mountain road. EXT. MOUNTAIN PASS, SUMMIT Civic pulls up on the shoulder of the summit of the mountain road. The headlights flicker and turn on. Keiichi and Kaoru open the doors and step out. KAORU FINALLY the headlights turn on! What the hell's with this car? CIVIKO (V.O.) Wha... Where am I? What... WHAT HAPPENED? Oh no! ... I've been stolen! Kaoru kicks the tire. CAR (plaintively) CIVIKO (V.O.) ow... But... Kenji-sama doesn't want me around anyway. It's too late. Maybe these guys will be nice to me... TAKASHI walks up to Kaoru, posturing arrogantly. Has shoulder length hair and wears bluejeans and a sweatshirt. TAKASHI You actually showed up early for once. No car trouble for a change? KAORU Don't be so cocky. TAKASHI You really think your EG6 can stand up to my 32? That thing looks like you bought it yesterday! I bet it's stock! KAORU I WILL win. For the pride of the Black Thunders! Kaoru's teammates give a collective cheer. In the distance a pair of headlights can be seen. They all turn around to look. KEIICHI Who the hell could that be? KAORU I don't know, but the engine sounds like it's going to fall apart any second. Kyosuke's car comes in fast, and does a sideways drift, coming to a halt perpendicular to the Civic and Takashi's Skyline GT-R, blocking the starting line. The passenger side door swings open, and Kenji steps out into the haze of headlights. KAORU (CONT'D) Who the hell do you think you are?! Kenji strides up and punches Kaoru in the face. Kaoru falls back against the car, and struggles for a moment to get up. Silence reigns. KENJI You're the one! KAORU What the fuck are you talking about? Kenji reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper. KENJI This is MY car that you STOLE! Everyone around them starts murmuring. TAKASHI Really? It's hard to believe "Dangerous Kaoru" would stoop so low. KAORU Oh, that's real RICH, coming from the guy who ran my brother right off the ROAD in Yamanose!!! TAKASHI (shrugs) What can I say? I play to win. KAORU So do I. KENJI Well, you aren't going to do it in MY car. Kenji looks around and realizes that the other Black Thunders are assembling behind Kaoru. KEIICHI Um... I think you're better off just letting him do this one race. I don't want you to get hurt. Kenji looks at Kaoru, then Takashi. Overlay the image of the Civic being run off the road by the Skyline and going up in flames. KENJI NO WAY. The other door of Kyosuke's car opens, and Kyosuke steps out. A hush falls over the crowd. Kyosuke walks up behind Kenji and rests a hand on his shoulder. KEIICHI (awed whisper) No way... That's... Madman Kyosuke! I thought he retired six years ago! KYOSUKE As always, there is a third option. My little brother Kenji can drive in the race. The crowd starts murmuring before. CROWD No wonder they called him the Madman! Why should that brat get involved in this? Madman Kyosuke's little brother?! But then if he's anywhere near as good as his older brother--! KENJI (irritated as hell, speaking quietly to Kyosuke) Heh. They seem to know you. KYOSUKE You never asked me what I was into before I discovered music. KENJI You really are insane. I don't know how to race. KYOSUKE You're my brother. It's in your blood. KENJI Don't give me that crap. KYOSUKE Nokia said she can still work as a phone; take her with you and I can talk you through it. KENJI Absolutely not. You are insane -- unfit to function in normal human society. TAKASHI (laughs) I like this! (to Kenji) I accept your challenge! What's your name? KYOSUKE You can call him........ hmmm...... KENJI THE PHANTOM! TAKASHI I'm Takashi the Demon! An unknown challenger at the last moment! I can't wait! KENJI Stop this. Now. KYOSUKE It's much too late for that. There's a street racer's pride to consider. KENJI I'm not a street racer; how can I have a street racer's pride? KYOSUKE You don't, but the thing is that when a street racer's pride is injured too badly they tend to get rather violent. KENJI When this is over, I'm going to kill you. You know that, right? KYOSUKE (grins) Same old Kenji. Give 'em hell. INT. INSIDE THE CIVIC Kenji sits in the car, with Nokia in the passenger seat. Kenji pulls away the wires Kaoru and Keiichi attached earlier and puts the key in the ignition. CAR KENJI It's me. (rolls eyes) I can't take my eyes off you for a minute. CAR KENJI Help me. Help me win this stupid race and show these jackasses who's boss. CAR KENJI (pats the dashboard) Good girl. Kenji starts the engine and pulls up alongside the Skyline, and Keiichi stands between them. EXT. MOUNTAIN PASS, SUMMIT Kyosuke idly strums his guitar as he leans against the side of his car (now more sensibly parked), with Toasty and Kimiko standing next to him. Toasty offers him a slice of toast, which he takes and takes a bite out of. TOASTY Kyosuke-san, why'd you do it this way? KYOSUKE Kenji-kun still doesn't understand his car. Whether or not he wins or loses isn't the real contest here; if he can see through all the metal and plastic and come to a new understanding, he will have won a more important victory. KIMIKO You're being melodramatic again. KYOSUKE (grins) I'm seeing what's really in front of me. INT. INSIDE THE CIVIC Kenji looks out through the windshield. Keiichi holds up his hands to begin the count. KEIICHI Ten! Kenji puts his hands in position on the wheel. KEIICHI (CONT'D) Nine! NOKIA Are you ready? KEIICHI Eight! KENJI I think so. KEIICHI Seven! NOKIA Just remember, we're here for you. KEIICHI Six! KENJI Thanks I guess. KEIICHI Five! NOKIA I mean it. KEIICHI Four! NOKIA Civiko and I... KEIICHI Three! KENJI Huh? KEIICHI Two! NOKIA We were-- KEIICHI One! Kenji puts the pedal to the metal. EXT. MOUNTAIN PASS Both cars speed out of their starting places, flying past Keiichi. Kyosuke grins. KYOSUKE It's begun, little bro. Cut to a view of the Civic through the windshield. FADE OUT.