Ignition Episode 2: Three's A Crowd By Ewen "Blackbird" Cluney EXT. KENJI'S HOUSE, DRIVEWAY - MORNING KENJI, KIMIKO, and CIVIKO are standing outside, in the driveway. KIMIKO So let me get this straight; you think the remote is what does it? Kimiko takes the remote out of Kenji's hand. KENJI Hey! Kenji's cell phone rings, playing Fur Elise. He scowls at Kimiko as he answers it. She shrugs and presses the button on the remote. Suddenly his cell phone is engulfed in a red glow. A few moments later he finds himself holding Nokia's hand. She smiles at him expectantly. OVERHEAD VIEW OF THE NEIGHBORHOOD KENJI (O.S.) (CONT'D) DAMNIT! NOT ANOTHER ONE!!! MEDIUM SHOT OF KENJI & CO. Nokia regards the rather tweaked out Kenji apprehensively. NOKIA Ummm... KENJI (snatching the remote and key from Kimiko) First the car, now my CELL PHONE. KIMIKO Wow. That thing's pretty cool. NOKIA Um... KENJI Shut up! It's really FREAKING annoying is what it is! CIVIKO (to Nokia) Don't worry; this is normal for him. NOKIA Oh. KIMIKO (rolls eyes) Sor-ry! Let me see if I can help. KENJI Haven't you done enough damage for one day? NOKIA He's our owner? CIVIKO Uh-huh! His name's Kenji. Asakawa Kenji. KIMIKO Jeez! I liked you WAY better in the old days. KENJI I'm sure. NOKIA Kenji-sama, my name is Nokia. ^_^ KENJI Yeah. Nokia suddenly starts singing Fur Elise. KENJI (CONT'D) What the... KIMIKO Looks like you have a call. KENJI And how the hell do I answer it? Nokia holds out one hand with the pinky and thumb extended and holds it up to Kenji's ear. KENJI (CONT'D) (sigh) Hello? NAOKI (on the phone) Hey Kenji! The manager wants you to come into work today! KENJI (grabbing Nokia's hand) WHAT? I'm supposed to have the day off! NAOKI Yeah, but the manager suddenly had family business to deal with, so he needs two people to hold the fort today. KENJI What, you can't manage by yourself? NAOKI Hello?! It's SUNDAY! AND that new B'z single just came out! By lunch time I'll have to find a bat to fend off all the 14 year-old girls! KENJI (sigh) FINE! I'll be there. I may be a little late though. NAOKI Not too late I hope. Kenji pulls her hand away from him. She looks at him expectantly. He looks at her hand, and folds up the pinky. Nokia smiles and puts her hand behind her back. KENJI I don't suppose you know how to turn yourself back? NOKIA Sorry, no. KENJI Shit. CIVIKO Kenji-sama, I think I know how to turn back. ^_^ KENJI (shrug) Go for it. Civiko holds out her hand expectantly. Kenji hesitates for a moment, then hands her the key ring. She lifts up the bottom of her shirt to reveal her belly button -- which is in fact a keyhole like on a car door. Kenji and Kimiko look on, unsure of what to think as Civiko puts the key in and turns it. She's covered by a red glow, and transforms back into the car. CAR (happily) Kenji pauses, and turns to Nokia and Kimiko. KENJI (sigh) Kimiko, can you keep an eye on Nokia while I'm at work? KIMIKO Sure. Kenji opens the car door and then stops short. KENJI CRAP. KIMIKO What? KENJI I'm supposed to get a call about a scholarship today. On my cell phone. KIMIKO I see. Then you'd better take her along, huh? KENJI (sigh) (to Nokia) Get in the car. NOKIA Hai, Kenji-sama! INT. INTERIOR OF THE CIVIC - DAY Kenji is driving in the Civic, with Nokia in the passenger seat. The radio suddenly turns on, playing "Love Phantom" by B'z. Kenji irately turns it off. KENJI I hear that song enough at work. CAR (disconcerted) He stops at an intersection. KENJI (to Nokia) Hey, um... NOKIA Nokia? KENJI Y-yeah. Can you call that guy I called yesterday? NOKIA Sure! I still have the number in my call log! She makes some beeping sounds and again holds up her thumb and pinky to Kenji. Kenji waits several seconds before closing her pinky. NOKIA (CONT'D) No answer... KENJI I don't know if I can get used to this. Hopefully I can get home without anything else becoming a girl. NOKIA At least you still have two more seats in the car. KENJI Don't remind me. EXT. STREET The Civic is parked along the side of the street. Kenji hops out of the car and Nokia follows. KENJI (to the car) Be good; stay here. CAR (disappointed) KENJI Alright, look -- if you behave then I'll... um... get you a tank of premium gas next time. CAR (enthusiastic) INT. EXTREME CD VISION Kenji and Nokia are walking into the record store. Naoki looks at Nokia in shock. NAOKI Woah! Is there a convention around here I should know about? I--I mean, Irasshaimase! NOKIA Convention? NAOKI Well, you're dressed like a booth babe -- Nokia? NOKIA That's me. ^_^ I'm Kenji's-- Kenji covers her mouth. KENJI Cousin. She's in town because of work but she's taking the afternoon off and she didn't want to be left alone in the house. NAOKI Oh... kay... Whatever you say. Just get to work. Kenji sighs. WIPE RIGHT TO: Kenji behind the counter, opening a box of new CD singles. Naoki brings another box out from the back room. NAOKI (CONT'D) (to Nokia) So, where're you from? NOKIA Umm... Scandanavia I think. NAOKI Huh? You don't look it... KENJI (blinks) Her... parents were living there at the time. That's where Nokia phones are made. NAOKI Really? KENJI Yup. NAOKI Figures your cell phone would be some cheap European piece of junk. NOKIA I am not! NAOKI What? KENJI Did I mention her hearing isn't very good? The front door opens and a small herd of middle school aged GIRLS runs in. KENJI (CONT'D) Irrashaimase! NAOKI Irasshaimase! GIRL #1 What the hell?! These guys are college aged and they're working here? GIRL #2 Must be big-time losers! KENJI (twitch) Can I help you young ladies? GIRL #1 The new single please. GIRL #3 One for each of us. NOW. NAOKI (twitch) Coming right up. NOKIA Hey! Kenji-sama works very hard! GIRL #4 Woah; I wouldn't think a crappy place like this could afford a booth babe... GIRL #3 They're probably so desperate they'd try anything to get more business. Nokia suddenly starts singing. Kenji panics, grabs her by the hand, and drags her into the back room. Naoki and the girls look on, unsure of what to make of it. NAOKI Don't even ask me. Will that be cash? GIRL #2 Nah; I'll use Papa's credit card. Naoki rolls his eyes. INT. EXTREME CD VISION, BACK ROOM Kenji is talking into Nokia's hand. KENJI Hello?! (beat) KIMIKO?! What the HELL do you want? (beat) I DON'T HAVE TIME TO EAT! NO! DON'T call me today unless it's a matter of life and death! He irately closes Nokia's pinky and lets out a long sigh. Nokia pats him on the back. NOKIA It's okay; I'm here for you like always. KENJI (under his breath) That's what part of the problem. INT. EXTEME CD VISION Kenji and Nokia are walking back into the front part of the shop; the customers are gone for the moment. NAOKI Know what? I don't even wanna know. KENJI Good, 'cuz I don't wanna tell you. EXT. STREET The Civic sits in its parking place. CIVIKO (V.O.) Aww... This is so _boring_! I wanna go places! I wanna _drive_! (beat) I know Kenji-sama is my owner and I hafta' do what he says, but... Why's he have to be so careful all the time? Can't we have a little fun when he drives? Oh well, at least I can listen to some music... The car radio turns itself on. CIVIKO (V.O.) (CONT'D) That's a little better (beat) Ohhhhhh! I miss him! I hope he's okay... (beat) Wait. His work wouldn't be mean and call him in so suddenly, would they? No... It couldn't be...! He wouldn't be lying to _me_. He couldn't be driving some _other_ car right now! He couldn't... INT. EXTREME CD VISION Kenji and Naoki straighten as the door opens, then relax as Mimi walks in. MIMI Hey guys; I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd drop by. ^_^ NAOKI Don't you _live_ in this neighborhood? MIMI Aw, you figured it out. :P NAOKI (rolls eyes) You can use it as an excuse to come bug is whenever you want. MIMI Yup! Say, have you guys eaten yet? KENJI Nothing. MIMI Good. Then you can join me for lunch. KENJI ... (skeptical/irritated look) NAOKI Welllll... It _is_ about time for you to take a lunch break. Mimi takes Kenji by the arm and starts pulling him out of the shop. NAOKI (CONT'D) (grin) Don't worry, I'll take good care of your cousin. KENJI Nokia, go check on the car; I'll be back later. NOKIA Hai, Kenji-sama. ^_^ INT. MOD'S BURGER - AFTERNOON Kenji and Mimi are sitting down at Mod's Burger. MIMI You know, you'd be more attractive if you didn't go around looking like this-- (mimics his usual irate, half lidded expression) --all the time. KENJI I know. That's why I do it. MIMI Huh? (sigh) Naoki was telling me about what happened to you in high school; is that why--? KENJI I really don't like to talk about that stuff. MIMI But-- KENJI I mean it. Change the subject or I'll leave. MIMI That bad, huh? KENJI ... MIMI You must be a lot of fun at parties. KENJI People tell me I'm the death of the party. MIMI (chuckles) Were you this funny back then? KENJI I'm sure I was fun to watch. EXT. STREET Nokia walks down the street. She stops in front of the parking space where the Civic was -- it's now empty. Nokia blinks, and starts walking. Cut to a view of the Mod's Burger from the outside; the Civic, with no driver, halts in front, edges forward meandering a bit, then speeds off. INT. MOD'S BURGER Kenji and Mimi are still talking over lunch. MIMI You seem like a totally different person from the one in Naoki's stories. KENJI (shrug) Seems like it. MIMI Is that how you're going to go through life? Being Captain Sarcastic? KENJI It seems to be working. Not that you're one to complain about people's sarcasm. MIMI (chuckle) Yeah; if you're Captain Sarcastic then I guess that makes me your sidekick. A figure in a black trench coat walks into the restaurant, deliberately facing away from the two of them, and sits down at a table, holding up a newspaper. A close-up reveals that it's Civiko; she's wearing a fedora, though it just sits on top of her steering wheel, and peering over the top of her newspaper at Kenji and Mimi. CIVIKO VOICE OVER (V.O.) Nooooo! Kenji-sama, how could you! She watches in horror as Kenji smiles a little in response to something Mimi says. Civiko grips the newspaper more tightly and starts growling, though it winds up sounding more like a revving engine. Kenji blinks and starts looking around, and Civiko ducks behind her newspaper. MIMI What? KENJI Thought I heard something. CLOSE-UP OF CIVIKO. CIVIKO VOICE OVER (V.O.) Oh no! If Kenji-sama finds out I'm here like this he'll be really mad at me! I... I hafta' act casual. CASUAL. Civiko tries to relax and ends up falling backwards out of her seat. Kenji is about to turn to see what happened when Nokia walks by, singing Fur Elise. Kenji starts and runs out the door, takes Nokia by the hand, and hurries off-camera as Mimi watches, unsure of what to make of it. EXT. STREET OUTSIDE MOD'S BURGER Kenji is talking on the "phone". KENJI Hello? (2 beats) Er, yes! This is Asakawa Kenji. (beat) Yes... (beat) That's right... (beat) Well, not to be rude or anything, but is there any chance this could be done later? Now isn't a very good time for-- (2 beats) I understand; it's just that I was called into work unexpectedly-- (beat) Now? N-no problem, sir. Kenji sighs as quietly as possible, and starts walking into an alleyway with Nokia in tow. INT. MOD'S BURGER Mimi walks up to Civiko. MIMI Are... you alright? CIVIKO Fine! (stands up, laughs nervously) Perfectly fine! I have to go now! Civiko bolts out the door. Mimi watches her go and then shakes her head. MIMI Something's going on. (clasps her hands behind her head) At least things won't be boring around here. ^_^ EXT. ALLEYWAY Kenji is talking on the "phone" still. Civiko is hiding behind a garbage can nearby. KENJI Alright. Thank you very much! (hangs up) Hopefully that didn't go _too_ horribly. NOKIA You did sound a bit nervous, but I'm sure you'll get the scholarship. ^_^ Kenji sighs and starts walking, then stops short and turns around. KENJI ... Civiko looks up at him fearfully. KENJI (CONT'D) ... CIVIKO Kensji-sama... KENJI ... CIVIKO I, um... KENJI ... CIVIKO Well... I... KENJI ... NOKIA She was worried about you and was going to look for you. KENJI (rolls eyes) Fine. Whatever. Go and park yourself again. CIVIKO Um, okay. KENJI (to Nokia) And you, keep an eye on her. INT. EXTREME CD VISION Kenji and Mimi are walking back into the store. NAOKI Hey, where's the cousin? KENJI She decided to wait in the car. NAOKI damn... MIMI Sorry Naoki; not all women are so affected by your charms. NAOKI (shrug) I guess I'm just losing my touch. KENJI What touch? NAOKI Ouch. MIMI Anyways, I'll leave you two to your work. Ja ne! They watch her leave. NAOKI Well? KENJI Well what? NAOKI (rolls eyes) Never mind. If she _does_ like you it won't go anywhere apparently. KENJI And why should you care? NAOKI Have you ever thought about what Mimi would look like without those centimeter thick glasses and that dumpy sweatshirt? KENJI No. NAOKI Remember Suzuhara Manami? KENJI No. NAOKI Oh, you missed out on that one; she had a crush on Yamanose Hikaru, so she let the Fashion Club get their hands on her. The next day she couldn't open her locker because there were too many love letters jammed in there. But of course you wouldn't really care about that, would you? KENJI Not at the moment. EXT. STREET Kenji is getting into the Civic, along with Nokia CUT TO: the car pulling out. EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING PARKING LOT The car pulls up in front of the apartment building where Kenji met Mr. Tanaka. Kenji gets out. KENJI (sigh) Both of you stay here. CAR (worried) KENJI This shouldn't take too long. EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING HALLWAY Kenji strides up to the door. He takes a deep breath and knocks -- and the force of his knocking opens the door. He blinks as he looks into a completely empty apartment. He looks at the Civic's key ring in his hand, then turns around and leaves, slamming the door EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING, OUTSIDE MANAGER'S OFFICE Kenji walks up to a door that has a "Manager" sign on it. Kenji is about to knock when the door flies open and the MANAGER, a short, irate old woman with a cane stand there. MANAGER Who are you and what the hell do you want? KENJI I'm looking for the guy who was in Apartment 4. MANAGER Who's that then? KENJI Said is name was Tanaka; sold me a car. MANAGER Screwed you over, did he? KENJI What do you think? The Manager hits Kenji in the shin with her cane. MANAGER Don't be sarcastic and crabby with me, young man! I was bitter and crotchety before you were even in diapers! My husband's dead, I've got arthritis like you wouldn't believe and I have to go in for dialysis on Monday! KENJI (twitch) And your misfortune hasn't adversely affected your mouth I see. The Manager hits Kenji in the *other* shin with her cane. MANAGER My hearing is pretty good too. Mr. Tanaka up and disappeared; he'd only been staying here for a couple weeks and he ran off yesterday evening; something about a trip to Brazil he'd been planning. KENJI Shit. MANAGER Whatever's wrong with the car, you're stuck with it, so get over it and get out of here. Complaining only helps if someone wants to listen, and I ain't in the mood to unless you want to hear about my kidney stones first. Kenji lets out a long sigh and walks away. EXT. APARTMENT BUILDING PARKING LOT Kenji gets in the car. NOKIA Kenji-sama, there's a voice mail for you. KENJI (sigh) Let's hear it. Nokia holds up her hand to Kenji's ear like usual; as he listens, he becomes gradually more and more annoyed. Finally, he closes Nokia's pinky, buckles up, and peels out of the parking space. NOKIA Kenji-sama, what's wrong? KENJI I have an older brother. A WORTHLESS older brother, who apparently is coming to visit. INT. KENJI'S HOUSE, FRONT DOOR Kimiko opens the door to reveal a tall guy with long (dyed) red hair, dressed in a leather jacket, a tank top, and black jeans, with a guitar case on his back. He smiles at Kimiko and gives her a "V" sign with his hand. KIMIKO Brother? What're you doing here??? FADE OUT.